Numb.

So alot has happened over the past week. I was terribly defamed by someone (I could sue you for this, but thank God I’m poor) who cared too much for her friend, someone who didn’t mind at all butting her head into others’ affairs, bringing the fight to her own home, literally.

I was tired of the shit I was getting, so I apologised and left things alone. Yeah, whatever. Bitch about me all you want.

My folks used to say to my sisters when I used to irritate them, “Let him be. He’ll stop when he’s tired.”

But not this girl. She is real persistent. You know, bitchy persistent. The one that fucks your nerve real bad, no matter how many painkillers you take, it persists.

I apologised to you, hello. Why can’t you just let go of it? I said I’d leave her, didn’t I?

And I smsed your other girl friend the same thing I told you. I did it because she kind of hinted for a fight. I wanted no fight, I wanted to clarify. I told her that she was right, I apologized, and that I’ll leave her good friend alone.

Yes I know you abhor the idea of she and me together. Don’t blame you. But now, I can’t stay nor leave!

My close friends have gotten pretty frustrated with the situation, especially the part that I wasn’t doing shit to save myself. I didn’t want to think of all these shit, seriously. I wanted to ignore these happenings, I thought that eventually, the dogs will get tired.

The intention of this post is to let my story be heard.

Dayah, thank you. You didn’t need to do that, really. I appreciate it though. You know what, I concur that both parties should either take the blame…or not. Don’t you think it’s just fair? It’s all about working things out, right?

Deen has pretty much summarized what I felt (but didn’t want to put up). I’ve got no control over what other people want to post up, do I? Bah. I said I wanted to ignore everything. But thanks bro, I know you mean well. You wanted me to stand up for myself.

Now, my say.

I’m pretty disappointed you played along with your friends’ game. Your blog posts, don’t tell me anything about you trying to put in a good word for me. You contributed to my defamation.

You played your friends’ game well, but you played an entirely different game on me. You sent me smses.

One of them said that you meant it when you said you missed me the other time. The other talks about you disobeying (or going to. whatever the case is.) your friends, that even though they disapprove of you being friends with me, they can’t decide the destiny of your life.

You smsed saying you’ve forgotten and forgiven about the incident. You added that you don’t hate me.

You also told me not to “terlalu kecil hati” because your friends care so much for you. In your blog, you mention that you’re thankful you have great friends like them. You know what, whatever pleases your ears. I won’t call her a friend, I’d call her a monster.

I was numb. Still numb. I didn’t know what to feel or say when you smsed me that. You know me better than that. I felt so fucking low, I didn’t even have the mood to fight or stand up for myself.

Everybody make mistakes. To err is human.

Props to you for contributing to my defamation, even though you might not have meant for it. Takpe…

I know you even contacted my youngest sister the past day or two, to ask her about me, and talk things out like how you have always treated me as a friend, that you demanded nothing out of it except for a pure friendship, and that I was like forcing you to breakup. On top of all that, you told her that you missed me a lot.

Hope. You’re always giving me hope.

Was I wrong to say that I felt used like a spare tyre? Your good friend agrees with me.

OMG.

Gemini Horoscope
Go to: Yesterday | Tomorrow

Khairul,
Romantic and social relationships are apt to be in a state of change now. The answers won’t come if you aren’t asking the right questions. There are people around you willing to solve your problems, so seek their insight. Avoid spreading yourself thin doing too much socializing.

Lucky Numbers: 6, 10, 21, 28, 41, 48
Compatible Sign: Sagittarius

I guess it’s just right that I ask questions now.

Why did you cry for a week the first time I left you, because I thought it wasn’t possible? Your sleep and appetite was affected. Was I worth all that?

Why do you break down everytime I want to leave you and give you a peaceful time with your boyfriend?

Why do you keep coming back to me?

Am I really just a friend?

Will you cry when you know you will stop seeing your male colleagues after you stop working?

Why do you keep me a secret?

What do you really want for yourself?

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